Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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