Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
