grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
