im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
my liver is dry heaving
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
