oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
