You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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