My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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