oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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