You made me cry and you don't even care
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
