Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
