If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
