I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Semen is not good for contacts.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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