Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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