He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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