I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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