I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
