Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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