Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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