so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
