Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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