I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
