Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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