sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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