Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
