I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
