can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
