so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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