i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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