she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I supernannyed him into submission
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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