apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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