i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
