omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
