I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
