Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
