@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
