So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
