She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
