you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
