If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
