Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My pussy is not your playground.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
did you just send me my own nude
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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