still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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