If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
