Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
