Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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