I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
