i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
