in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This is my gift to your gina
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
