So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
