the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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