i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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