y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
