He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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