he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
